1. Turn of your cell phone- This is one suggestion that I stole from the other list. There's nothing more annoying than being in the room with a patient who's on the phone or texting. Your time as a physician is already crunched enough as it is. We don't have time to wait for you to finish talking to your bff or grandma or whoever. If your'e at the doctor's office (or the ER for that matter) then it surely must be more important than that business call you feel the need to take. And I'm sure you can wait to text your buddy till after I'm done with your PAP smear.
2. Stop trying to diagnose yourself on the internet- There's nothing more annoying than asking your patient what brings them in today and they reply with, "So I checked webMD and I think I have _____ (insert ridiculous diagnosis here)." The trouble herein lies in the fact that medicine is not as straightforward as some of you might think. You can't just say, "My symptoms are X, Y, Z, therefore I have 'this'". Most conditions or diseases are so varying from patient to patient. If I look up any disease in one of my 40 pound textbooks it'll read: "Patient may have fever. There is sometimes shortness of breath with or without cough. Some patients experience diarrhea." You see, it's not very straightforward. And most of the time your patient just has something simple like a viral illness, but if webMD lists Typhoid fever or Necrotizing Fasciitis (deadly skin infection) as a possible diagnosis, then good luck convincing them otherwise. Which brings me to my next point....
3. Don't expect a quick fix- The other article I read listed "Not being upfront with your expectations" as one of the 10 things not to do. I shall elaborate by telling you not to have unreasonable expectations. Going to the doctor expecting to get a prescription every time is not realistic and not the best way to practice medicine. There is not a pill for everything and most of the time the side effects may just be worse than the illness. If your doctor tells you that you don't need a prescription that's a GOOD THING. Most colds or stomach bugs are viral infections and don't need an antibiotic. Most musculoskeletal pain will go away on it's own with a little rest, stretching, and maybe some heat or ice. Trust me, your body is made to heal itself. All it needs is some time.
4. Be honest- In order to get everything out of your doctor's appointment and get the proper treatment you need, you have to be honest with your physician. If you've acquired hepatitis from IV drug use, then don't lie and say it was from a blood transfusion (of which you have no documentation ever having). Perhaps the worse piece of advice I ever heard was an elderly relative of mine telling me that her friend told her that if she has stroke symptoms and goes to the ER to tell them she started experiencing them less than a half hour ago so that she could still get the "magic drug" that fixes strokes. First of all, there is no magic drug. What she's referring to is tPA, a clot-busting medication. The problem is that there are some very serious side effects, in particular it can cause brain-bleeds and death. The reason her "friend" (with no medical background) told her this is because there's a 90 minute time window in which doctor's should use the tPA. For future reference, don't lie about ANY of your symptoms and when they happened (or what you were doing when they happened).
5. Write things down- I'm sure you've been told to write down questions you may have and bring them to your visit. That's always a great idea, but I'll take it a step further. Write things down during your visit as well. I can't tell you how many times I've ask my relatives what their doctor advised them at their visit or what tests they were doing or what they're trying to rule out as a diagnosis and they just simply don't remember. Don't be ignorant to your plan of care. Take note of what your doctor is telling you, because sometimes it can be overwhelming. But if you're in the "know" and have an idea of what's going on then you will feel more empowered as a patient and maybe not as scared too.
Well, it turns out my list is only really five things, but five pretty important things I would like to think. I could throw in a few "no brainers" (that to some aren't really no-brainers) like: don't leave the ER to smoke if you came in complaining of chest pain or Don't try to get your girlfriend to pee in a cup in the room when no one's looking so you can use her drug-free pee. And if my doctor/med student friends have anything else they'd like to add, please leave a comment! I'm curious to see other's opinions on the subject.
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