Today I've officially gained a new appreciation for the working mother. I also have much admiration for the stay-at-home mom, but they are lucky enough not to have to experience the emotional turmoil that goes along with being away from your kid all day. It's a tough thing to balance, being a mom and having a career. On one hand you want to work and earn money for your family, but on the other hand you have this overwhelming "mommy guilt". It's heartbreaking only getting to spend a few hours with your child when you come home.
So it's 7:30 pm and I finally get to see my little man. By now it's late and he's getting tired. So all I really have time to do is give him a bath, put his pj's on, brush his teeth, give him his milk, and read him a bedtime story. Usually I just put him right in his crib after story time's over, but I snuggled him for a few minutes longer because I just missed him so much.
I spent 10 hours taking care of other people today and only about one and a half hours taking care of my little boy. I can't help but feel like I'm lacking in the mommy department. I don't know how all the working moms out there do it. I guess what helps me is that I love what I do. I'm proud of my work. I enjoy my work. Not everyone can say that. A lot of people don't like their jobs and just do it for the money. I want to be a doctor because I get a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction knowing that I'm helping other people.
I can't forget to give credit to the working dads out there too, particularly my wonderful husband. He watches Killian during the day and then works in the evening a couple days a week and on the weekends. I'm so grateful to have married a man who is such a good father and works so hard to to take care of our son and works to support our family. Right now with both of our busy schedules, I'm surprised we've even managed to make it work.
Let's face it, being a parent is hard. You want so badly to do what's best for your child, and I think that for every family it's different. For us, it's working to support our family. Then the time that we do have together, we just have to make the most of it. It's not how much time you have, it's what you do with your time. I just have to keep reminding myself of that those days that I feel overcome with mommy guilt. And for all you working moms out there, thank you for being an inspiration to me.
It IS hard, being a parent with a career. It's like having two kids rather than one, each competing for 100% of all you've got. Talk about sibling rivalry on steroids! But when kids lament an absentee parent, it's less because mom or dad was working so much and more because they were never present when they were home. Parents who love their work are different from parents who compulsively work. Those who love what they do are generally far better parents because their work or job or career is fulfilling. Parents who are compulsive, who are driven by an interior emptiness and never really experience true fulfillment no matter how many hours they work, have nothing to bring home. To paraphrase Doc Holiday in a wonderful line from "Tombstone," it's as though they've got this big hole inside that nothing -- neither work nor professional recognition nor monetary achievement -- can fill. I guess what I'm trying to say is, you'll be a better parent because you love what you're doing and when you ARE with Killian and his siblings (eventually, no doubt), you'll be someone who has a great deal more to give and your children will benefit from that in ways they could never do otherwise. So, keep up the "good" work. :-)
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