The Big One!

Today my beautiful little boy is 1 year old. Everyone says how fast it'll all go by, but you never really understand until you live it. I feel like it was only a month or so ago that I woke up at five am with regular contractions every few minutes, excited to hold my little boy for the first time. Then we brought him home and I remember the feeling of utter panic come over me. We were responsible for this little human life and I was a nervous wreck.

The first few weeks or after we'd put him to bed in his crib, I'd lay in bed in cry almost every night. Even though he was in the room right next to us, I was panic-stricken leaving him alone. I was so scared that something was going to happen to him. But morning after morning we'd get up and there he'd be laying like a perfect angel sleeping with his arms over his head, sucking on his pacifier. I still think that's the favorite part of my day, going into his room first thing in the morning. Except now he's usually standing up holding on to the side of the crib either crying for us or talking to the dog laying in the doorway.

The first year of your child's life I feel like you're always looking forward to the next milestone.... his first smile, rolling over, crawling, first foods (bananas!), first words. He hasn't started walking yet, but everyone tells me not to rush that one, that once they start walking you're done for. The thing is, I feel like I was always wishing the time away. I always say, "I can't wait for...." but really I just wish time would have gone by a little slower. Because now it's a year later and my little love bug who used to just snuggle on my chest and sleep for hours is now longer that little. He's turned into this little amazing little boy, who crawls as fast as he can to chase our dog, loves playing in dirt, and will eat a whole banana in one sitting.

This past year has been like riding a roller coaster but without the safety harness. There were moments where the ride was fun and relaxing, but there were also moments of sheer terror. At times I didn't think I'd make it off the ride alive. But here we are, almost a year later and we've made it out ok. More than just ok actually... we're happy, healthy, and oh so very blessed. And even though I'm going to savor every moment of the present, I can't wait to see what the future holds.