Baby Mama Med School Drama

I've been scouring the internet trying to find articles or blogs about women who've had a baby while in medical school.  Trust me when I say that there were few and far between.  There were quite a few on women who've already had kids going into med school, and the few articles I actually found were not very uplifting or encouraging.  I stumbled on a forum or two of women asking if it's even possible to get pregnant in med school (as if they lace the water with birth control or something).

That's when I found this one girl's blog..... she wrote about her trials and tribulations navigating through life as a medical student.  On one particular post she asked the question of when would be the best time to have children on your path to becoming a doctor.  She was describing how a club at her school put on a forum of physicians who have had children either while in school or residency and they did a Q&A on what their experiences were like.  The blogger said that she was basically scared out of her mind afterwards because a woman on the panel broke down hysterically crying because she had to give up her dream of being a Cardiologist for a less demanding specialty after she had a child.

She also went on the say how all the other panelists just tried to persuade the crowd not to ever have kids until you're an attending, and that you will not succeed in medicine if you get pregnant in med school or residency. The blogger then came to the conclusion that even though she was single and didn't plan on having children anytime soon, she was going to do everything in her power not to get pregnant until after her residency.

When I got pregnant a few months into my third year of medical school I felt like people looked at me as if I was a leper. Gasp! A woman dared to do what is biologically natural to her and have a child. Gasp again! And put her family before her career!!! How dare she? So naturally most of the doctors I worked with made comments like this: "Wow, bet you weren't planning that." or "That's an accident you probably didn't want to happen." They of course were even more shocked when I told them I did it on purpose :)

I know people say all the time that there's never a good time to have kids. The saying holds even more truth when it comes to being a med student. Sure you can wait till residency, but then you're working the hardest hours of your life and will probably only get a few weeks off for maternity leave. You could wait until you're an attending, but I mean how old do you really want to be before you start having kids? You certainly don't want people mistaking you for Grandma (I've done that to someone.  I was totally embarrassed and apologized profusely).

8 months pregnant at my baby shower!

I guess it was just common sense to me that if I wanted to start my family, then doing it now was better than later. Hey, I already got married while in school (Note: Try to avoid planning a wedding so close to studying for boards. Not a good idea.). So why not have a baby? My husband and I knew we wanted a child and weren't exactly "trying" but decided to stop "preventing" it and just see where it goes. We were shocked to find out how quickly it all happened. One month to be exact. But it worked out perfectly since I was due right at the end of my third year.

There's a lot of pluses to choosing to get knocked up while still in school....
1. You can take as much time as you want off. There were a few girls in my class that got pregnant and they all took varying times off. One girl just missed a six week core rotation during third year and then started back up again. Another took a whole year off. I took six months off and now I'm spreading 4th year out over a year and a half, giving me time in between rotations to study for boards or travel for interviews. Not saying this will work for everyone, but I think I got a pretty sweet deal out of it.

2. You're not looked down upon nearly as bad as if you're a resident. Right now you're just in school, but in residency you're actually working for someone. And that someone is going to either hire you as an attending or recommend/not recommend you as an attending elsewhere. Plus you're probably not working as many hours or have the same expectations as if you're a resident. And if you keep up with your reading enough so that you don't make a total fool of yourself while getting pimped*, then you'll be ok.

My fellow students & I at the end of third year.

3. In residency interviews you have a great answer if you're asked how being a parent influences you as a doctor. You can just smile and say, "I think it's important as a physician to know how to balance your priorities. Most people wait to after school to get married or have kids, but then all they've done is focus on medicine. I've managed to juggle being a med student, a wife, and a mother and be successful in all areas. A talent I think most other students have yet to prove."

Now I'm not saying there's aren't any downsides. For one, money is and always will be an issue. Well, I guess it depends on what your spouse does. If he runs a multi-million dollar company, then I'm sure you're not worried about it. But if you're like me and you're husband just finished grad school and just started his career (and started getting his student loan bills), then things will be a little tight. So you just cut back in some areas and maybe clip a few more coupons. Oh well.

Another disadvantage that I'm dealing with right now is doing my fourth year rotations. I've been lucky enough to set up my first few within good driving distance of home. Even though my first one was an hour and a half drive each way, I still got to come home at night to my family. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to set up a few that aren't within driving distance. Which means I'll be spending some time away from my boys. I have to admit, I'm not ready for that yet but I don't really have a choice.

Lastly, you really can't control where you'll be for residency. Yeah, you can work your hardest to do well and interview well and try to get your top pick in the match. But for all I know, I may end up in Pennsylvania or northern Maine! Which means we'd have to uproot and move away from our family. Even though it's only for a few years, it means my husband leaving his great new job and not having instant childcare across the street. But like I said... it's only a few years.

So for those pondering whether or not it's possible to have a baby and be a doctor, I hope I gave you some good insight. Please don't put it on the back burner out of fear, because you may regret it in the end. It's definitely a challenge, but it's the most amazing experience of my life. You shouldn't deny yourself a family because you don't want to look like a less dedicated med student. When you're done school, what are you going to have besides a job? When people ask me why I had a baby during med school, I simply say this: "Being a doctor is my career, but my family is my life."

*Pimped- Getting asked an onslaught of ridiculously hard questions by the attending physician, testing the absolute minutia details of medicine. A way for them to put you in your place as a med student and make you feel like an idiot.

5k: Check!

Yesterday my husband and I ran our first official 5k race. I had mentioned earlier that he had signed me up as my mother's day gift, and ever since I've been training my butt off. The race was scheduled at night and it had been raining all day. I could hear my own voice in my head trying to talk myself out of it just hours before. "Ehh, it's too cold and wet. Why don't you wait to do one on a nicer day? You're really not feeling that great anyways. Plus you have a headache." Even my husband was sleeping on the couch just an hour before we were supposed to leave. I could have easily just left him sleeping.....

But then all those weeks of running at the gym, running outside, running with the jogging stroller, and running after my child would have been for nothing. I set a goal and I was determined to finish it! So we were off, in my waterproof Columbia jacket and Red Sox hat. We dropped the baby off with my parents (who questioned whether we were actually still going to run the race), and headed to the park.

After registering, getting our numbers, and peeing in a very unsanitary port-a-potty, we were more than anxious to start. When they announced it was about that time, we started following the group to our presumed starting line. I didn't think anything of it walking down this huge hill to the bottom, until we all stopped and I realized that we actually had to run back up it. Yesiree, the very first 1/10 of a mile or so was up a huge frickin' hill.  I was not prepared for this!

The whistle blew and the crowd all began bolting it up mount everest (yes, I'm exaggerated). I seriously thought I was going to die. I couldn't breath and my legs were already burning.... and I still had three more miles to go! We got to the top of the hill and thankfully started jogging on a flat surface, only to find more hills once we ventured into the woods. Seriously, the whole first half of the race was up hills. Which meant that thankfully there were some downhills later on.

I did end up walking a few times uphill and kept apologizing to my husband, "I'm so sorry!" For which he told me to stop apologizing. 3.1 miles, or 5 kilometers, later we had finally reached the finish line. My husband and I gave a double high-five and I thanked him for running with me. We went to get our free waters and complimentary Stonyfield Greek Yogurt, which was amazing by the way! Then we headed home and I ate some absolutely delicious Hawaiin pizza that my parents had ordered.

I can't even describe how proud I was of my husband and I. I never thought that I would be able to run a 5k less than a year after I had a baby. There were lots of sore muscles and shin splints along the way, but it was all worth it in the end to cross that finish line. I'm already thinking about signing up for my next one.

Mommy Instincts

Let me start off by saying that I LOVE LOVE LOVE my son's pediatrician.  She is super down-to-earth, very thorough, and always reassuring.  She offers up great advice and is confident in what she does.  Some people have to go through several doctors to find one as great her.  So when my son was not doing so well over the weekend, I was very hesitant to see the "after hours" doctor at their other office. (I do realize we are very lucky to even have a doctor's office that has after hours until 9 pm during the week and a few hours on the weekend).

Killian started having a fever on Saturday, but with no other symptoms so we just chalked it up to maybe some teething and didn't think much of it.  When Sunday rolled around he was burning up, unbelievably fussy, and so clingy.  I literally could not put the kid down.  He just wanted to be held and slept in my arms  all morning.  I so wanted to just wait to see our own doctor on Monday, but when he decided to stop eating and drinking I got worried enough to call the office.

We were the last appointment of the day, which means the physician and staff were probably very anxious to get out and enjoy the summer day.  Though that's not really an excuse for the physician's horrible bedside manner.  I told her Killian's symptoms and expressed my concern that he may have another ear infection, to which her reply was, "I don't understand why he's had so many ear infections if he's not in day care.".  Ok, well there's other ways to get sick besides being in daycare... but that's besides the point.  So she looked in his ears and says, "Well, he doesn't have an ear infection.  He probably just has Roseola.  Call your doctor in two days if he still has a fever."

Roseola?  Seriously lady.  So I said, "Well, if he's not in daycare and stays home with my husband and I every day where in the world would he get Roseola?"  Then I politely suggested that there could be many other causes of fever in an infant other than an ear infection and Roseola (with no history of exposure), and asked if it was possible that he had a UTI.  Her response was, "Well, he's circumcised.  So I doubt it."  Well if she had bothered to ask, she'd know that he wasn't circumcised (and by the way, being circumcised does not exclude you from having a UTI).  So she reluctantly taped a sterile plastic bag around his genitals and we waited for him to pee (which was a while since he wasn't drinking anything).

An hour later, with no reassurance or really any at-home instructions from the "doctor" (I was about to ask for proof of her medical degree), I took my poor little man home.  After two days of lots of Tylenol, Ibuprofen, and snuggling we get a phone call from the pseudo-doctor saying that "surprisingly" the urine culture grew out bacteria and he needs a catheter to get a sterile sample to confirm it and that I should bring him back to her.  No way lady.  I insisted on going back to my own doctor, who turned out not to be in the office and the other doctor there was on his way out the door.  With the help of the very kind office manager at my office, she told me I could go to the hospital and get it done there.

By the way, I even had to ask the doctor why she wasn't going to treat the UTI with antibiotics.  She said she wanted a more sterile specimen but even if she thought that he had an infection, it'd be prudent to treat it in the meantime to prevent serious complications like a kidney infection.  If I hadn't of pushed her myself, I doubt she would have sent a prescription to my pharmacy.  At this point I was beyond the point of frustrated.

I was pleasantly surprised, however, at how easily everything went at the hospital.  The nurses were very kind and helpful.  Even after having a tube stuck up his urethra, Killian was still smiling at them in the end.  I was just happy to have the whole thing over with.  We headed home, got his prescription (which caused an massive blow-out within 20 minutes after taking it), had a tubby, and went to bed.  I'm still waiting to hear about the results of the new urine culture, but I'm just glad my little man is finally starting to feel better.

I tell my friends and family all the time who constantly question their own doctors to trust in their physicians, that they went through years of school and years of vigorous training and they aren't out to do you wrong.  But I think after this experience, I realized that every once in a while (particularly when your gut instinct is telling you to), you have to question your doctor and push them a little.  I think sometimes doctors just get so complacent with seeing such common illnesses or not finding anything wrong at all, that they don't think to look for anything else.

On my rotations I'm constantly asked by the attendings I work with, "What's the differential diagnosis?"  For those who aren't a medical student, that just means, "What are all the possible things that could be the cause of the patient's symptoms?"  And anything less than at least three probable diagnoses is unacceptable.  Even though I was a mom at that moment in time in the doctor's office, my medical student side was surfacing.  I wouldn't normally question the doctor like I did, but I knew something was wrong with my baby and if I hadn't said anything then he wouldn't be getting treated for his UTI now.  Sometimes you just have to follow your instincts.

Life's a Beach!

I decided to take a break from my usual study routine today and take a trip to the beach with my friend and her little girl.  It was Killian's first time experiencing the ocean.  Needless to say it was quite the adventure for both of us.  Here's a few things I learned about bringing an 11 month old to the beach:

1. Sand gets everywhere!!!  My friend told me this when we first arrived, and I was like, "Well sure, it's a beach!"  But seriously, it gets everywhere!!! In every crevice, orifice, on all your food, in your hair.... I'm pretty sure even after his bath tonight, Killian still has sand up his bum.  I know I definitely do since I haven't showered yet.  On a good note, we discovered that baby powder is a quick and easy way to rub the sand away.  I will be sure to pack some on my next visit.

2. Your child will definitely swallow salt water. Even when I had Killian sitting what I thought was a safe distance away from the water as to not drown, sure enough a big-ass wave came at him and knocked him over.  You could almost see it happen in slow motion.  Water approaching, look of surprise on his face (with mouth wide open), then a wave of ocean water toppling him over.  To my surprise he didn't cry and was still happy sitting in the sand.

3. SUNBLOCK, SUNBLOCK, SUNBLOCK!  Together we probably used a whole bottle of sunblock, but that still wasn't enough.  My little dude came home a little pink tonight.  And that was even after two very generous applications of Baby Aveeno (my favorite brand!), a UV protected tent, and a very stylish beach hat.  Oh well, it was bound to happen.

4. Nap before you leave the house.  Well, not YOU, I mean the babies.  We both thought that the kiddos would snooze on the drive there, but boy were we wrong!  Funny thing about babies is, when one cries, the other does too!  Which meant a very long car ride with two screaming kids and two mommies singing "Wheels on the Bus" over and over again.  They rallied together though for the actually beach-time and were hanging in strong.  Then not even two minutes after getting in the car to head home they were out like a light.  Two sleeping angels and two very happy mommies.

If you're already a mom then you know that anything you do with a child is never easy.  Just like we experienced today carrying two 20-something pound kids and about six bags of crap down the beach.  Sure we had our moments where we thought it was the stupidest idea in the world, but we survived, our kids survived and we even had some fun.  I'll chalk it up to a win and next time around I'll remember to bring some baby powder and a wagon to tote our stuff in!

Mo Money, Mo Problems

Yes, I made a Notorious B.I.G. reference in the title of this post.  Circa 1997.... I was in 7th grade.  But I think Biggie had it all wrong.  If I was a rapper, I'd make a song called, "No Money, Mo Problems."  It would reference my life as a medical student with close to a quarter-of-a-million dollars in debt, trying to support my family.

Well, instead of rapping about my financial woes, I decided to venture down to Foxwoods Casino this past weekend to see if I could pay off a bit of my student loans. I went with my parents and my cousin, as a birthday gift for my mom.  Last time I was there was for my 21st birthday, which was quite the event.  All the girls wore bright colored wigs, and we played the "Take a picture with a random stranger without them noticing" game.  Though we didn't make that much of a spectacle this time around, it was equally fun and entertaining.

My cousin & I still smiling after losing our $

I don't know why but every time I go there, I have these ridiculous fantasies about coming home a millionaire.  I picture myself playing the slots, three 7's popping up in a row, alarms sounding, people cheering, and confetti falling from the ceiling as I win the jackpot.  Hey, a girl can dream!  I thought I was on a roll when I played my first $20 and instantly won $100.  Then I had quickly doubled the $100 my dad so generously gave me in only a half hour!  My dreams of graduating debt free were soon to be met.  Not so much.....

After a night of gambling away all my (dad's) money, followed by consuming more alcohol than I had in a long time, I woke up to the sobering reality that I was not going to pay off my med school loans anytime soon.  Not that I expected to win $250,000 playing the penny slots.  At least I had fun, though, especially while I was playing the Sex & the City slots sitting next to the funniest chain-smoking old lady who was cheering me on every time I got the bonus game by yelling out, "Mr. Big!!" (that was the $1,000 prize).

Well, even though I didn't win any money, I definitely came home a winner when I walked in the door and my little man gave me a great big smile.  Now that's priceless.